It is in our nature, in our collective memory, not to celebrate success. Most times, we let the good things in our lives pass right by us, as if they were not as important as the worse ones. I believe we follow the same pattern over and over again, making such a fuss about the bad things, all the while ignoring the good ones. We quickly get the diplomas and go back home in an instant, we get a new job and do nothing but breathe deeply for a moment, it’s our birthday and all we can think of is choosing the perfect restaurant to invite our friends to, our best friend gives birth and we still have to write it down on our to-do list etc.

I, myself, have lived like this for a while, but I have also got used to thinking there is room for improvement and that happened sometime when I was a child. I started believing it was great I was already good at something, but that only meant I could be even better. I also started believing tomorrow could go wrong, even if today has just been a great day. Criticism will always get to us, but what I tried to learn and accept is that who I am today is the best version of me I could ever be. Well, isn’t that just a great thing to celebrate?

In my opinion, the origins of the overpassing – joy behavior are:

1. The ways in which we grew self-esteem; and I refer to the parents who never failed to bring to light our “failures” – “yes, of course, you got an A today, but remember the C you got yesterday?” or “Why are you so happy about such an insignificant thing?” or even “Why should you buy yourself this thing (–replace with anything you might wish for and yet not need that much) right now? Do you really need it?”
2. Forming our beliefs about life and the world in a highly normative environment (in traditional families or at school) which does nothing but make children believe in something just because it is the right thing to do, in no case because it is something they understand and truly believe in. For example, “You must always care for what tomorrow brings.” are nothing but plain words children accept.
3. Being present: overly preoccupied with going back in the past for a little more drama or thinking about the future so as to seem more responsible, we miss living in the now. The art of being here and now could be attained by us all, but only if we really did make peace with ourselves. And this is a tricky one!
4. Emotional intelligence. It’s man’s ability of interacting harmoniously with the other, and also keeping a balanced psychic life. If we try to truly experience our emotions, be they happy or sad, if we truly try to accept the others, flaws and all, then our state of mind would improve immensely. That way, we will be able to express our emotions and, hence, release tension by staying true to ourselves.

Two months ago, one of the most amazing things happened. Actually, I made one of the most amazing things happen in my life: I became a psychotherapist. That day, my coordinator advised me to go buy something, as a sign of gratefulness towards myself.
Which made me think: what if, this Christmas, we offered ourselves a present? Let that sink in. Ready? Ok. Now think about these things and analyze what they make you feel:
1. What would such a present make us feel like?
2. Do you think we deserve it?
3. Do you think getting a present for someone else first is more important? Why?
4. Who is this someone and what would getting her/him a present make us feel like?
5. What is it in for us when we offer the people we love presents?
6. Do we offer them presents without expecting something in return? Not even a thought of gratefulness?
7. Do we do that because we have feelings for them?
8. If we offer people presents expecting at least affection in return, aren’t we actually making ourselves presents?

I really do hope you will enjoy this marathon! Make yourselves happy! This is making my list in 2016!